A Beautiful Tragedy
by Marsala
Summary: this is whats left of a life. the life of Draco Malfoy. this is how he will be rememered, this is how lives. how he dies. WARNING: this fic is not a happy fic.


Hello! This is my first one-shot! And my first DM\HG. This story is VERY DARK. Super dark. It's not a child friendly story. This is a fair warning to all. I got the idea for this one night. I just had to get it down on paper. So, I hope you like it. .

A Beautiful Tragedy

I can't believe it. How? Why? Was it something I've done? How could she do this to me? My chest, it hurts so much/ my brain feels so numb. The only thing keeping me aware is this ach, this hurt, this immense gnawing pain, a pain that's eating from the inside out. How could this have happened? Did it happen? Or am I having a horrific nightmare? It's impossible, simply unthinkable.

You would think I'm used to this by now. People leaving, betrayal. In fact I've numbed myself from it, but her? Why her? The only one I thought understood! The only one I ever trusted! My angel! It hurt so much! Why dose it hurt this much with her? It's becoming painfully clear to me, I will always be alone. Alone. When I met her, I thought I was finally freed from the emotional cage I have been kept in my whole life! But that, that was a lie. Now I'm here in a smaller cage, with a view. A view of what I don't have, of what I desperately need. Its taunting me, showing it to me but never letting me have it, always out of my reach. I was better off not knowing what I lacked in this life.

Life. Life is not a word that in any way, shape or form coincides with me. What I have is eternal limbo, where seconds feel like years and the pain is far, far to real. It's her fault; she made me aware of this limbo, of this hell on earth. She's the one who completely broke me. But most of all its _his_ fault. _He _started it all. _He _must have talked her into it. _He_ must have done this to her. _HE _took her way from me!

Thoughts, memories, ideas, wishes all flashing through my mind as I walk up to my apartment door. I don't even have the power to go there any more, for I know what waits for me there. It has to be done. I have to see. I am a Malfoy, I don't back down, even if it means my doom.

I look down at my hands, their blood, now dried and flaking off, reminds me of what I've done. I feel my eyes narrow, though I loved her with every fiber of my being, she had it coming, she really had it coming to her. She thought I didn't know. How could I not? She laid everything in plain sight, for everyone to see. I am not a person to make a fool of. Never make a fool of me. She must have thought that I was too smitten with her to act, to put an end to this. She was so naive, so innocent. But he had to come back. He had to come back and taint her. He deserved to die more then she did!

Her face flashes through my mind, the pain comes back. I see them, together, joined. The pain increases tenfold. It hurts so badly.

I finally get into the apartment, the door slams shut. I was greeted with the stench of alcohol, sex and blood. "Home, sweet, home." I said to myself bitterly. I grab a bottle of hard liquor off the kitchen counter and chugged half of it down. I felt it go down, burning my insides the entire way down. I drink the rest of it as well. When I finish with that I take another. As I drink the next bottle, my eyes start to sting. I put my hands to my face to find that I was crying. I start to walk to the bathroom, as I start to feel sick. I don't make it, I fall to the floor. I had never once cried. Not once in my life had I cried like I am now. I can't image what I must look like right now, sobbing like a fool, drunk and curled up in a ball on the floor. What would father think, if he saw me now. He would probably call me a disgrace and kill me as I am. He would call me a disgrace to all that are pure, and I would have to agree with him, because its true. I truly am a disgrace. I am disgusting. The world hates me for what it made me. My eyes harden again. I'm not the one to blame! Its all their fault! How can they hate something they made? how can the turn their backs on me like that? As if I mean nothing! They don't even have the will, the want to lie to me. To let me live in ignorance. No, they use me then throw me out. I would do anything for a purpose. I don't care what it is. I have never cared. As long as I had something to do . something that I could say I lived for, even if it's a lie.

I feel the bile climbing up my throat, the alcohol still present, burning through me. I vomit, it spills over the floor. Another wonderful smell to accompany the room. I don't care anymore. I take another large mouth full of the whiskey. It burns, once again. I enjoy it, the pain. Pain is my one constant the one thing I know won't ever leave me. But it's also the one thing I hate, its what breaks me. What destroys me. Its what keeps me aware. Painfully aware of everything. Pain is one thing that fallows me everywhere. The one thing I will have for all eternity. My _ONE_ thing.

I try to get up off the floor. I fail. I slip, and fall, landing in my own vomit. I succeed the second time. I stagger over to the master bedroom. _Her_ room. My room. _Her_ deathbed.

I push open the door. The sight before me is one that I will take to the grave and back. Red. Beautiful red. Everywhere. Splattered over the carpet, all over the curtains, over the furniture. Red. Red all over their mangled bodies. Bloody saint Harry mother fucken' Potter. The boy who just wouldn't die. The boy who was thought to be invincible. The boy who was supposed to save us all from he who must not be named. Is now covered in his own blood, his body, or what's left of it lifeless, lying next to _her_. My wife. My beloved wife. She was supposed to stay by my side till death do us part. She was supposed to be faithful, loyal. She's now lying on the bed, dead. I left her virtually untouched. I only did to her what she did to me. I ripped her heart out and stepped on it. I will truly miss her. My heart aches for her. Words cannot express how much I miss her, and she's only been gone for a few hours. But I will see her soon. In hell.

She's so beautiful, even in death. She like a fallen angel. He only flaw at this moment it the gaping hole in her chest. I run my hands over her face, "it didn't have to end like this Hermione." I whisper a hairs breath away from her face. I miss her but she had to go. I had not choice.

I feel the tears come back, gathering behind my eyes. I lean over and kiss her forehead gently. I wonder if she'll forgive me. I chuckle at the thought. My Hermione. An angel? Yes. Understanding? Yes. Forgiving? Never. She'll stay by me but she will never forgive me for ending her life like this. Forgiving me is something she won't do.

She was the only thing important to me. THE ONLY THING! Everything everyone, I have ever loved, liked, or had any sort of emotion for all gone. Gone. All taken from me one way or another. I run my hands through he honey hair. My beautiful angel was one of them. I lay my self next to her, cling to her, cry for her. My clothes once again are getting soaked. Their blood, soaking through my shirt, is no longer hot, not even warm. Its cold. So very cold. I don't care about that either. All I care about is my last moment with her. I close my eyes. I can't even look at her any more. It hurts too much. All I can do is take in her feel, her scent. This is the last time I will be able to do so. I try to think about what I'm going to do next. I can't. all I can think about is her. What is she gets sent to some place other then hell? What will I do then? I can't fallow her. I won't be able. My place that I am doomed to go to is hell.

Death is supposed to be a release from life. To be free, from the confines of reality. But I know, I will have no such privilege. I am one of the damned. I will always be one of the damned. Nothing, no one, can save me from this. I had once thought Hermione was going to be the one to free me. A tear escapes from my closed eyes. They will come from me soon. The light side, the dark. Both want me dead. One for killing their golden boy, and their most promising member. The other for marring a mudblood. I have no friends. I have no family. I have nothing. I have nothing left in the world. Nothing to live for. I am the only one, the only one with nothing. I can't even bring myself to live a lie. At this point it would be easier to die. But I'm not ready to face her. To see anyone. No matter how much I want to be alone, someone will come looking for me. Haven't I been though enough? I have to live with what I've done. With what I've seen. They don't know. No one but me knows the whole story. Only I do. No one is even willing to pretend to listen, let alone pay attention. Where do I have to go now? I had left every thing from my old life when I married Hermione, now I don't even have her.

I had told her, long ago. If I can't have her no one can. I don't share. She knew that. She knew what would happen if this happened. And yet she did it anyway. Could she hate me? What if she's not waiting for me when I die? What if she's with Potter? Would she leave me like that? She left me now, what's going to stop her from doing it again? Then what do I do? I don't know what to do.

This feeling. I feel like I'm falling. I'm falling, and I don't see a bottom. Will I fall forever? Will this ever end? I have so man questions, and no one to answer them for me. No one who wants anything to do with me. How do I continue like this? If I die now is there anyone, anyone at all who would have anounce of emotion? An ounce of pity for me? I don't care what I get anymore as long as its something. Something I have. I don't care what emotion I feel at this point as long as its not this helplessness. This feeling of being so painfully alone. Anything, anything at all is better than this empty feeling. This hole inside me. If I die now, will anyone bother to beary me? Or will I just be tossed aside? Will I be fed to the rats, to the vermin that live in our world. Or will they not even want to come near me.

This is the last moment I have. One of the few memories that I won't forget. My last moments with an angel. My angel. I only have this moment now. I close my eyes again. This time I don't know if I have the will power, the pride, the stamina, the strength to even try. This will most probably be my last night in this limbo, my living hell. If I wake tomorrow I don't know if it's a blessing, saving me from the eternal hell the awaits me, or a taunt telling me that I can't even get a moment of peace.

I am Draco Malfoy, and my life, is and always will be a beautiful tragedy.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

well that's my first Harry Potter fic. Please tell me what you think. Thank you.


End file.
